hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize