I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
