Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
