are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
