She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
