whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
