She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize