real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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