this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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