I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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