This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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