i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize