I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
