u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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