We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize