Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
