Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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