I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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