my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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