It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
