Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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