Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
