Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
