Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
