I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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