you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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