Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
