ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
