I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Randomize
