You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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