While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
