i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
