i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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