I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
