Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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