I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
