dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
