i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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