brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
