do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
