i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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