ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
