So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
