So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
