do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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