just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
