If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
