Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
