i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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