Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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