Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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