Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
