Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
