mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How naked do you want me to be?
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