He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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