and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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