Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
