what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
