Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
