"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
