One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
