OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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