I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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